Science Exam Answers

If you need a laugh, try reading through these childrens's science exam answers :) Enjoy!

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? (...got to hand it to the children, their imagination!)
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in thi fight.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? (I do love this one....)
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks foward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
(Brilliant, love this!)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainum contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the bowels; A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section"
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Job description of a Parent

                                 POSITION:                           Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
                         Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
                             JOB DESCRIPTION:
              Long term, team players needed, for challenging
                           permanent work in an
                        often chaotic environment.
              Candidates must possess excellent communication
             and organizational skills and be willing to work
         variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
                   and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
            Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in
                             far away cities!
                      Travel expenses not reimbursed.
                  Extensive courier duties also required.
                             RESPONSIBILITIES:
                          The rest of your life.
            Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
                          until someone needs $5.
                Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
               Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
                                 pack mule
        and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
                   in case, this time, the screams from
              the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
         Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
        such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
                            and stuck zippers.
              Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
           coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
         Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
               for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
              Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
                        an embarrassment the next.
       Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
              Must assume final, complete accountability for
                      the quality of the end product.
            Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
                 janitorial work throughout the facility.
                 POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:                                   None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining,
              constantly retraining and updating your skills,
          so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
                           PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
                       None required unfortunately.
      On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..
                          WAGES AND COMPENSATION:                          Get this! You pay them!
                   Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
            A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
               of the assumption that college will help them
                      become financially independent.
               When you die, you give them whatever is left.
         The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
          you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
                                 BENEFITS:
             While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
              no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
                       no stock options are offered;
      this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
                            unconditional love,
     and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right..

                     Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything
                         they do on a daily basis,
                  letting them know they are appreciated
           for the fabulous job they do .. or forward with love
                to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
              ** AND A FOOTNOTE?
                   THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
         If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!

Interesting Stuff

In the 1400's, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV waws Fred Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow and at least 75% of people who read this will try it.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.

The percentage of Africa that it wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-sized dog to the age of eleven: $16, 400

The average number of people airbone over the U.S. in any given hour: 61, 000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable Cars ar the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111, 111, 111 X 111,111,111 = 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two peope signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q: Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A: Their birthplace

Q: Most owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A: Obsession

Q: If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A: One thousand

Q: What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A: All were invented by women.

Q: What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A: Honey

Q: Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A: Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattresses tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase........"Goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4, 000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this peroid was called honey month, which we know today as honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "Mind your P's and Q's".

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Don't skip this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod
as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have their e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cellphone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cellphone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11.  You start tilting your head sideways when you smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to share this message with.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~

NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.

Happy New Year 2011!

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear.

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

Do not take pills with COOL water.

Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

Keep your distance away from handphone CHARGERS.

Do not use headphones/earphones for a LONG period of time.

Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.

Do not lie down immediately after taking MEDICINE before sleeping.

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as radiation is 1000 times.

When I was a child, I had a lot of Good Experience

Merry Christmas!

Myspace Comments from 123mycodes.com

"Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling"

A True Catfish Story

......Who would have expected that even a fish needed help.....

A Fish Story

A guy who lives at Lake Conroe (50 miles north of Houston) saw a ball bouncing around kind of strangely in the lake and went to investigate.

It turned out to be a flathead catfish who had obviously tried to swallow a basketball which became stuck in its mouth!

The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive, but unable to because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface. The guy tried numerous times to get the ball out, but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry cat fish. 

You probably wouldn't have believed this, 

If you hadn't seen the following pictures....

Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Most annoying word of 2010

"Whatever" voted most irritating word in poll.

NEW YORK - Whatever you think about using grating words, at the end of the day it's actually better not to day whatever, if you know what I mean.


For the second consecutive year, "whatever" topped a Marist poll as the most annoying word or phrase in the English language.


Nearly 39% of 1020 Americans questioned in the survey deemed it the most irritating word, followed by "like" with 28% and the phrase "you know what I mean" at 15%.


"Perhaps these words are introduced through popular culture, for example movies......so they catch on," said Mary Azzoli, of Marist. "It has a lot to do with how accepted and how popular they become in every day speech. 


Azzoli said words like "whatever" can be quite dismissive depending on how they are used.

"It's the way they're delivered and inherent in that delivery is a meaning. 

The phrase "to tell you the truth" and "actually" were also unnerving to many people. But for younger Americans, aged 18 to 29, "like" was the word that annoyed them most.     

Our parents

A touching story.........

A simple man tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his first flight, brought emotions and made him realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never travelled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on lufthansa.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time to travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

 As they were about to go in for the security check-in,   he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.

But later thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.

As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for football, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have satisfied to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes?

Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?

Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is out responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how would they have felt at those moments.

Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.

Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of our parents.

Share this to every child who loves their parents and want to love them more....

Funny Wallpapers

             I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

I M tired of working

             Don't be irreplacable, if you can't bereplaced, you can't be promoted.

Opps... sorry! Tea break jus got streched.

BEWARE. I'm desperate to fall in love.

                Good things come to those who wait, but all the really excellent stuff will be gone by then.

Prevent hangovers. Stay drunk.

Why does life keep teaching me lessons. I have no desire to learn.

            If you are a vegetarian just to be nice to animals, why are you eating their food?

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

World's Tallest Couple

LOS ANGELES - Thier height made Wayne and Laurie Hallquist seem like an ideal match when they met seven years ago, and on Thursday they matched with something else - the title of the world's tallest living married couple.

Guinness World Records bestowed that towering distinction to the Hallquists in a ceremony under the marquee at its Hollywood museum. The couple arrived in a white limousine, with Wayne sporting a tuxedo and Laurie in a white wedding dress.

The Hallquists, who live in Stockton, California, measure a combined 13 feet, 4 inches, or 407.4 centimeters, to be exact. He stands 6 feet 10.4 inches, she 6 feet 5.95 inches, the Guinness organization said.

"It's a whole different perspective up here, and we can find each other quite easily in a crowd," Laurie told Reuters.

"We can see several people going bald that might not know it at the moment," joked Wayne, 57, who works as a telephone company wire splicer.

The Hallquists said that when they met at a church singles club in 2003, they could tell that others around them were sizing up a possible love affair because of their height.

"She walked in, everyone looked at her, then they looked at me," Wayne said.

But while Wayne said it was love at first sight for him, Laurie their first meeting came up short.

"He talked about the size of my hands and feet, which is kind of a no-no," said Laurie, 46. "And then the second time we had a chance to talk, I figured out he was really a good guy.

They have been married for seven years, but it took the Hallquists until this year to contact Guinness World Records.

The couple said they were discouraged at first from making a play for world's tallest couple, because they read online that a man and a woman each standing over 7 feet had married in the 19th century.

Only this year did they realize they could compete in another category : world's tallest living married couple.

Guinness previously listed a couple in England - Wilco and Keisha van Kleef-Bolton - as the world's tallest couplr at a combined height of 13 feet, 3 inches.

The Hallquists knew they could beat that - by an inch. So they contacted Guinness, and the organization had them measured by a doctor and a notary to make it official.

Laurie, a former college basketball player, who now works as a realtor, said she dated shorter men before Wayne, including one "kind of macho" guy who stood 5 foot-7. She described that pairing as "a little awkward" and said that she likes looking up to her husband - at least physically.

If revent history is any indication, the Hallquists may have a limited time to stand out. The van Kleef-Boltons were only named world's tallest couple last year, before the Hallquists stepped up to challenge them.

"There may be people who are taller than the Hallquists, but unless we go out and can measure them, the Hallquists have the record all to themselves," said Guinness World Records adiudicator Stuart Claxton.

It's Friday...By Mr. Bean

Have a nice day... It's Friday!

Did you know....

1. California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ.

2. Kangaroos cannot walk backwards.

3. 'Jedi' is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers in Australia.

4. After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.

5. Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life.

6. Nachos is the food craved by pregnant women.
7. Each year, 24,000 Americans are bitten by rats!
8. Most dreams last only 5 to 20 minutes.
9. The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25% of its length without breaking.
10. On average, the life span of an American dollar is 18 months.
11. Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
12. The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com
13. Americans collectively eat 100 pounds of chocolate every second.
14. U.S. President Calvin Coolidge liked to eat breakfast while having his head rubbed with Vaseline.
15. When a giraffe baby is born, it falls from a height of six feet, normally without getting hurt.
16. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
17. The creator of the NIKE Swoosh symbol was paid only $35.00 for the design.
18. How does a shark find fish? It can hear their hearts beating.
19. Penguins can convert salt into fresh water.
20. In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined!
21. The IRS employees tax manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.
22. During WWII, because a lot of players were called to duty, the Pittsburgh Steelers and Philadelphia Eagles combined to become The Steagles.
23. Nearly 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong account over the next hour.
24. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
25. There are more fatal car accidents in July than in any other month.
26. There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.
27. More than 2 million documents will be lost by the IRS this year.
28. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
29. Washington D.C has one lawyer for every 19 residents!
30. Avacados have more protein than any other fruit.
31. The avereage car produces a pound of pollution every 25 miles!
32. Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.
33. In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die!
34. The most powerful electric eel is found in the rivers of Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela, and Peru, and produces a shock of 400-650 volts.
35. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
36. Antartica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.
37. In India, people are legally allowed to marry a dog!
38. You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.
39. Half of all identity thieves are either relatives, friends, or neighbors of their victims.

40. One in three male motorists picks their nose while driving.

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Seven Hours: The Magic Number for Sleep

WASHINGTON (AFP) -- People who sleep more or fewer than seven hours a day, including naps, are increasing their risk for cardiovascular disease, the leading cause of death in the United States, a study published Sunday shows.  Sleeping fewer than five hours a day, including naps, more than doubles the risk of being diagnosed with angina, coronary heart disease, heart attack or stroke, the study conducted at West Virginia University's (WVU) faculty of medicine and published in the journal "Sleep" says.

And sleeping more than seven hours also increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, it says.

Study participants who said they slept nine hours or longer a day were one-and-a-half times more likely than seven-hour sleepers to develop cardiovascular disease, the study found.

The most at-risk group was adults under 60 years of age who slept five hours or fewer a night. They increased their risk of developing cardiovascular disease more than threefold compared to people who sleep nine hours.

Women who skimped on sleep, getting five hours or fewer a day, including naps, were more than two-and-a-half times as likely to develop cardiovascular disease. Short sleep duration was associated with heart attack and stroke, the study says.

A seperate study, also published in "Sleep", showed than an occasional long lie-in can be beneficial for those who can't avoid getting too little sleep. In that study, David Dinges, who heads the sleep and chronobiology unit at the University of Pennsylvania school of medicine, found that 142 adults whose sleep was severely restricted for five days -- as it is for many people during the work week -- has slower reaction times and more trouble focusing.

But after a night of recovery sleep, the sleep - deprived study participants' alertness improved significantly, and the greatest improvements were seen in those who were allowed to spend 10 hours in bed after a week with just four hours' sleep a night.

"An additional hour or two of sleep in the morning after a period of chronic partial sleep loss has genuine benefits for continued recovery of behavioral alertness," Dinges said. In the study about sleep and cardiovascular disease, researchers led by Anoop Shankar associate professor at WVU's department of community medicine, analyzed data gathered in a national U.S. study in 2005 on more than 30,000 adults.

The results were adjusted for age, sex, race, whether the person smoked or drank, whether they were fat or slim, and whether they were active or a couch potato. And even when study participants with diabetes, high blood pressure or depression were excluded from the analysis, the strong association between too much or too little sleep and cardiovascular disease remained.

The authors of the WVU study were unable to determine the causal relationship between how long a person sleeps and cardiovascular disease. But they pointed out that sleep duration affects endocrine and metabolic functions, and sleep deprivation can lead to impaired glucose tolerance, reduced insulin sensitivity and elevated blood pressure, all of which the risk of hardening the arteries.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that most adults get about seven to eight hours of sleep each night.

Shankar suggested that doctors screen for changes in sleep duration when assessing patients' risk for cardiovascular disease, and that public health initiavates consider including a focus on improving sleep quality and quantity.

"Sleep" is a peer-reviewed scientific journal published by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and the Sleep Research Society.